First, let me remind everybody that this blog is called FALLEN vegan.
I fell hard last week. I had a chicken breast. Well, a whole chicken breast, so two tits. Not giant breasts, maybe a B cup. I grilled them on an Ikea grill pan, served it with half an avocado, a crusty piece of French bread, and a side salad with cherry tomatoes. (No dressing because, well, I’m on a diet. LMFAO!)
I don’t know why, but after a month of not eating meat, taking my first bite made me nervous. I took a pinch of chicken that fell off the breast while grilling and CAREFULLY put it to my lips. I’ve eaten meat my entire life, but I was nervous when eating this chicken. That tells me my psychological perception of meat has changed. That’s good, right?
It was delish, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. I imagined it to be this fantastic, amazing, mind blowing food I was denying myself, but it wasn’t. It was good, very tasty, but not what I remembered. How can food perception change so much in a month?
The next morning, and there will be people who will say I’m exaggerating, but I promise I’m not, the next morning I woke up feeling puffy, tired, almost drugged. I honestly felt like I’d been drinking the night before. WTF?!
Oh, and I had my meal with a regular Coke. Not diet Coke, not some pure cane sugar, semi-healthy alternative. Coke. The Real Thing. I know, fuck that diet. Fuck it hard, fuck it all angry and shit. Fuck it like I caught it cheating with my best friend.
It’s been a few days since I ate the chicken. Since that meal, I’ve found myself pinning images of fluffy chickens. (aka guilt pins) I’ve also gone back to an almost exclusively vegan diet.
Almost. I had tzatziki sauce with my falafels last night.
That was fine, because I made a choice to eat some dairy, but then I noticed, after the meal, the pita bread had honey. Why? Why did you feel the need to sneak bee puke into my meal you crazy pita bread company? I bought your bread because the entire pack was 99 cents. Don’t make me buy a more expensive brand just to avoid your honey. Seriously. Please. Why can’t you be vegan AND cheap?
Most importantly, since that meal, I’ve realized I don’t miss meat nearly as much as I imagined. I miss the idea* of eating meat, but not the meat itself. I guess it’s true that if you do something for a month, it becomes a habit.
I’m not a quitter, but I’m working on it!
*An aside note, I just found out A1 sauce is vegan. OMG! I think I should buy stock in Kraft because I’m going to become an uber consumer of their product. Is it wrong to put A1 on a tomato and cucumber salad? How about A1 on toast? How about A1 on EVERYTHING!
Does Amazon deliver A1 by the case? Does Amazon Prime deliver A1 by the case, cause I need that sauce pronto. A1… it’s not just for steak.
You know those folks who carry around Sriracha on a key chain. Do they have itty-bitty A1 key chains? Can you gain weight eating too much A1?
I’ll report back next week and let you know.
Fallen Vegan 